Ladies and Gentleman, Boys and Girls, my name is Joe and I’m not really sure what I should be discussing today. At the end of the day, it’s just a spur of thoughts ….
Work is going okish. I’m not falling ill because of the work but Is that meant to be say I’m enjoying life to my full potential? I would say probably not at this moment in time. There are variety of reasons.
Yes I am getting paid, which is on the national minimum wage. I don’t have a problem with that but it does sound like, “You’re going to earn the least in the company” which is frustrating because it is under serving.
I’m not sure if the managers, colleagues or other people in the workplace would truly acknowledge or understand the amount of effort I am putting in day in and day out. Ok maybe I can get recognition once a year. I’m not pissed off or anything but I don’t want to see my work just thrown aside or undervalued. Maybe I am jealous of my own success. It is laughable idea tho to be honest. I would just do things differently, if I saw a person doing a great job I would pat an employee for putting the work in put in a good word, maybe if I am evaluating myself I am probably not doing enough to impress people which probably is frustrating.
I probably should work for a company in the future that offers those psychological consultants, the psychologists would probably have a field day of gathering my thoughts and anxiety issues which is great because I would be able to express and open up about stress or morale.
There are various things I would want to change about my life in general. I would want to change for the better so it feels like doing a New Year Resolutions list.
Last year I did join a local cricket club but this year I don’t have the same desire, fire, eagerness I had to practice cricket. To be honest I didn’t give it much thought to be honest, I hadn’t turned up for net practice for the winter or registering this year, the thing is that I don’t feel guilty of that. When the last practice finished last year, I did realise then I didn’t want to play cricket because these people are way too better and more deserving opportunity. While I was batting, I had a fast seamer bowling to me and just enjoying hitting the stumps in front of me. What a load of fun that was. I was quite disrespected when I was bowled bouncers but I knew one day it was coming, If you ever heard of the term of Body-line, you probably know what I mean. I felt it was a lack of sportsmanship and tough love in that Bodyline series.
The things I wanted to achieve by the end of last season was to make long term or life long friends, enjoy my performance in fielding, bowling and batting. It didn’t work out that way unfortunately. It obviously hurts when I try something and it doesn’t succeed in the way I wanted to and to admit that nothing is going to make it possible. It is not the club’s fault because I feel that way in general. I felt the same way about basketball, I once went for a tryout at university and I didn’t enjoy playing basketball either because I wasn’t going to be good enough at it or I just seemed that I don’t exist in social circles.
Yes, Life is tough in many ways when feeling isolated about it. Enough said. If you do feel that way then let me know.