I Do Feel Like A Failure

I Do Feel Like A Failure

Just writing this blog exclusively for users subscribed to my blog. I want to keep it short.

Thank you for supporting my blog and will for the future.

When I am writing this blog on Tuesday 22nd September, I have doubts and negative things on my mind, mainly because of the pressure I put myself under. Like yesterday, I commented on a blog recently, my whole point of that was that I see myself being very ambitious and setting my goals to be high up. I want to sound positive but it isn’t working out that way YET. I have had interviews with likes of CLIC Sargent, Hampton Court Palace, Economist Group, Imperial War Museum which are big names over the last 12 months, I wouldn’t go far as to say they were global but that isn’t the point.

Just yesterday, I had an interview in a department in Windsor Castle, I was looking forward to the interview very much and I had a long time to prepare what I was going to say so on the day itself I was just wanted to enjoy the opportunity of viewing Windsor Castle because I knew that despite my best effects I can’t guarantee that it will get me the job there. That is what I think people are disillusioned about, we can’t in life guarantee or make promises that the next or current job we have is going to be a job for life or supposedly we can’t guarantee that we would have a baby after we get married. It is just those things that either looks myself or other people look stupid at the end of the day.

For myself particularly, I want to succeed just like lots of us do but it’s just not going my way at this point in time. I just feel although the opportunity I went for was a fantastic position and probably the best job they could put me in, in terms of my skills and experience set. I just have a bad feeling that they are not going to take me further. I don’t like saying that, I think they are looking for someone with broader experience than I have such as working in a team which I haven’t got because my experience is just doing tasks independently.

For me not getting the job I went for would be by far the biggest failure of my career of not getting the job I would be most good at and it is going to break my heart just like Anne Boleyn or Catherine of Aragon not having a male heir to the throne. I’m going to be bitterly disappointed and probably cry like a baby afterwards once I heard I’m going to be unsuccessful, I don’t have my hopes up at all. I haven’t heard yet as of the 22nd September, the day after my interview.

Picture of a broken heart

I’m not going to give up trying in the future to work for the Royal Household but with my limited skills and experience, I’m not sure what else I would be good at so I’m not sure despite how much I love what the company does and my active interest in English monarchs and everything, that is why it would be great to work there but the frustrating thing is I don’t know what else I am good at that I can offer and plus I don’t have any contacts there. I think if one of the representatives would read this blog, they will feel sorry because they see I am passionate about the organisation but that can get you so far so I don’t know what the future will hold for me if it turns out that way.

I just want to say goodbye to yesterday and plan for tomorrow.

I just want to finish with a music video by U2


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