Should we be equal?

Should we be equal?

Hey everyone.

I’ve gone over my disappointment a few weeks back concerning a love interest but her face pops up in my mind now and again so it’s not really gotten over.

The whole point of this discussion is whether men and female are getting equal opportunities. The idea was inspired by what Novak said about women being paid less than men at ranking tournaments and I’m also watching a movie about the Suffragettes which was about women in Britain not having the right to vote in the first half of the 20th century.

I don’t know where to start with this conversation because I know nothing about what rights men have over women or the other way round in a political sense.

I would be open to have women in sports having the same TV exposure as men do. I think its great in likes of football and cricket that women are getting TV time so I feel its great in that respect. I think the UFC are the best example of that, it’s a male dominated sport for quite some time but women are taking over and making a name of themselves in the Bantamweight and Strawweight division. I remember one of the first UFC events I watched was back in UFC 193 in Melbourne. The reason why I watched it was because I wanted to watch Ronda vs Holm, to me it was BOX OFFICE and an attraction. I didn’t base those views to do with gender so it had nothing to do with it.

I think the divas over in the WWE are getting the tv time they deserve. Two matches on the card will be with divas on the card so I’m pleased with that. Having said that, I would have wanted to book this year’s WrestleMania to have Sasha Banks vs Charlotte as the last match or the formal name of a main event (informally it is a main event) because both of them are exciting to watch and they both remind me of a Rock vs Austin feud. The divas I take interest in are Bayley, Paige, Camella, Alexa Bliss and Emma.

However, my professional experience would question my view of women in employment. I spent about two years volunteering in a museum, there was between four to five members of staff that were all women.It doesn’t annoy me that they were employed, but it did affect me because I was young at the time and when I got to know the people in the office, I didn’t feel as tho I had any common interests with them. It didn’t matter to me that they were all female, I needed to cope with that scenario but it didn’t affect my work ethic or attitude to work.

My ideal scenario is to work in an environment where I am working with both genders. Even at school growing up, I’ve always been used to going to mix of male and females genders so I had no problem with that at all. At two of the organisations that I am helping out in are probably the most enjoyable times right now because I feel we have an good balance of experience and a good balance of male and females working in the offices. When I was writing up my internship experience back in September, I was working in a male dominated environment and so I quickly learnt that it took some getting used to, it wasn’t the main reason why I had left but it was one of things I couldn’t adjust to straight away, it was a very different atmosphere.

What do your opinions on the issues I’ve discussed.





Songs to listen to when heartbroken

Songs to listen to when heartbroken

Hey everyone. Just trying to sober up my hangover of heartbrokenness during the past week. I didn’t really know how to cope with it. It is emotionally draining. If you have any tips you can share with me then that would be great. I’m glad to say I have moved on from that so it is a good thing that I have quickly moved on I guess.

I did a search on Google and this is what I typed in:

 songs you can listen when you’re broken hearted

When I was looking through the results, I went through the results but they gave me such songs as Irreplaceable by Beyonce, You Oughta Know by Alanis Morissette and Love Will Tear Us Apart by Joy Division but those songs didn’t interest me.

For that reason, I have decided to come up with my own list of songs that I was listening to that would just make me move on and stop being bitter about the whole thing.

Too Little Too Late – JoJo

It doesn’t matter to me that I’m that not in love. I’m just bitter that I put in the best that I could but yet I could self-improve myself so this experience has told me a lot about myself. It is just like coming out of job interviews, their are times when I look back and think of stuff that I could have said but didn’t?

My Love – Jess Glynne (Acoustic)

I picked this song because I want the person who broke my heart to remain friends with me. Happiness can build to make and create better things. I was happy talking to her and I didn’t get the same response but I still want her and I to be friends. Life moves on …. Onto my next adventure.

Losing – Becky Hill

This song just reminds me of being alone and just reminding myself of what the person that I loved said, she didn’t want to be alone either so it is confusing that both of us wanted the same thing but she dejected me? Ok, this totally makes no sense and  I’m getting more questions than answers here.

Try Sleeping With A Broken Heart – Alicia Keys

This song just reminds me that I am going to move on without thinking about her, going to forget about ever bothering to contact her every week. As harsh as that sounds, she thinks that it is BEST so I have to agree with those wishes.

All Together Now – The Farm

Ok this isn’t a ballad or a most popular choice when it comes to feeling broken. But I love the song. “All Together Now” reminds me of unity and have that belief that we can be strong enough to let bygones to be by gones and to forget about the past and think about the future. When I listen to the song, it is uplifting and makes me proud to be British.

Heaven Knows I’m Miserable Now – The Smiths

To be fair with The Smiths, they did write and produce some depressing sad pieces of music. Various people like it or they don’t but I do like listening to The Smiths. But the song itself just summarised a feeling that people relate to.

Feeling Alive – Alastair Griffin

This is a song that I only discovered lately on the album by the same artist on iTunes. This is a magical song. My point is with this song, it makes me feel alive. I can move on from something with a positive attitude and so I don’t want to reminse about my negative experience. It is a great song and worth a listen.

Just Give Me A Reason – Pink feat Nate Ruess

I would wish that this heartbreak was just a bad dream, sadly it isn’t.

Sirens – Cher Lloyd

My point with this song is that I’m getting tired of being unsuccessful with life. My mental state is getting weaker so I just want to be positive but it is hard to stay positive.

Only Love Can Hurt Like This – Paloma Faith

I don’t need to explain this. It is a great song because I took it for face value.

Hate to see your heart break – Paramore

I think the song speaks for itself. I wasn’t expecting to know that I had my heart broken so early.

Can’t Feel My Face – The Weekend

Surprising enough, this cheers me up but a slap in a face at the same time when he sang about the “alone” part.

Goodbye to Yesterday – Elina Born & Stig Rasta

Ok, the lyrics in the song is to no relevance but I like how I am staring at the phone the days going forward waiting for the girl in case she changes her mind.Seems ironic though that it feels like I was heartbroken yesterday.

Unbroken – Maria Olafs

This song basically describes about moving forward, going at one step at a time. It would be nice to be out of the darkness pretty quickly and be in living colour.

All Good Things (Comes To An End) – Nelly Furtado

Why do good things come to an end. I ponder the same question.

Broken hearted Girl – Beyonce

This sums up my feelings for my loved one in my last blog Heartbroken.










Heartbroken :(

Heartbroken :(

This is a deeply personal blog to me. I’m not going to share it on Facebook unless I find someone that will get me to forget about how I’m feeling.

I want to get people to understand what I was going through on Sunday 13th March 2016 and I’m just recording this as a diary of a key event in my life when I was devastated but forever be in my memory.

I was in that word LOVE. From thinking about it makes it emotional because it is upsetting. I don’t wish to tell people what her name is but this is just my account.

So we met each other online, I met her on eHarmony, I did the process where you submit an interest and went from there. After the process, we exchanged numbers and went from there 🙂

She rang me up one day and we just got chatting and we got chatting on Skype, we were in a similar situation where we didn’t have that many friends 😦 no job prospects 😦 and so both of us wanted to better our lives.

After a few weeks later we sent each other valentine cards, I didn’t ask for that to happen, it was agreed between ourselves a week before, this what I wrote on the card:

“I dream that our loving friendship isn’t virtual but real. There isn’t anyone right now that can replace you in my heart. As long as we are in touch every week I will still be loving you ❤️

I dream that when we finally meet as strangers that our love for each other won’t be blinded and that our fire will not go out.”

The thing was, we were pushy on the idea of meeting or seeing other. I didn’t know exactly when I was going to meet her. I did feel pressured by her in the first two months to arranging to meet together. I wrote a note which summarised how I felt about it:

“I wanna book it.


I don’t want to wait till August

She is a lovely girl

I don’t want to break her heart

I am going to try and keep it a secret from my parents

I’m booking it”

The truth is, I booked it about a fortnight in advance. Normally, kids or people tell their parents where they go but I usually keep things about where I go to myself. It worked previously before when I visited Cheltenham and Oxford. If I did go somewhere like York or Leicester by myself then usually I show no fear.

I don’t remember my initial feelings of her on the day, I just seemed very hesitant because I was meeting the person for the first time, I was pretty miserable heading on the trip because a day earlier I was sent an email saying an job application wasn’t successful. Because I was travelling on airplane for the first time, I had to prepare a few bits there and then. I didn’t know what I wanted to say, I only known the person for a short time and I was heading to the unknown so there were a few things that were new to me on the day.

I don’t regret not booking the tickets to Dublin, it wasn’t ALL about meeting the girl in person (well it was one of the main things I had in mind) but I wanted to spend the day visiting and touring Dublin. I wouldn’t have changed how I conducted myself on the day, I didn’t feel that I was on a date, to me it was a get to together or a social thing. I am struggling to believe that people generally kiss after a first visit? I basically want to be with someone who I can develop chemistry overtime. Perhaps that is why when I am thinking about telling this story that I’m not the right person because if I did kiss her on the day or hugged her, (I don’t know) I wouldn’t feel that I would truly have meant it so I have no regrets about the way I conducted myself either, and NO I’m not looking for a one night stand and so I had prepared to return back the same day.

I wasn’t in a relationship for a start but it feels that it was a relationship. I’m a worrier, that’s what I am, if that person finds someone else with their own preference then I’m not going to get over it. I was flooding with tears the day after I got back from Dublin because I was missing the person so much. This situation was new to me and I was missing her during that time. To me there were elements of a relationship but what do I know? I’ve hardly been in a true relationship.

Anyway, I am not or wasn’t prepared to sacrifice and leave behind my family and life in London solely for her. It is too much too soon, however the circumstances, it was only like two or three months so great. I hope she finds someone that meets her requirements or people have more patience.

I got a phone call which wasn’t the call I would have liked to hear on Sunday (8 days after meeting her in person). I started off saying that I was reminiscing about the time we had in Dublin. Then I got a BOMBSHELL, she said she didn’t feel attracted to me so I just left it at “we would remain friends”, it is upsetting that I was looking forward to something then I get K.O from something that hurts me emotionally. I felt like listening to the song “Everytime” by Britney Spears. The way she looks like and my memory of her will be fading away, it is affected me personally and so she hasn’t given me much choice in the matter as much as it pains me to say it, I don’t like this decision but I have to move on. It was drowning me with tears, she won’t understand how I felt between when I got back from Dublin and March 13th.

Overall, this experience has taught me an awful lot, I will want to find someone else that is closer to home in future. That someone else is not going to be easy by any means. It isn’t going to wash away the pain anytime soon. Right now, it is difficult to come into terms of having a heart broken.

I feel it’s OVER now and I’m truly devastated and emotional just how this has turned out. I feel like Andy Murray the year before he won Wimbledon in 2012. I can say is I’M GETTING CLOSER to getting in a relationship. I had big things in mind with her, I’m much better at writing things then actually speaking them.

The thought of her and her alone was inspirational to me. From having discussions with her, she is talking to me to stuff that I don’t have the confidence to do. I am going to consider taking driving lessons soon.

When and if she came to visit me, I would have wanted to shown her the limelights of London, she was interested in horticulture so Kew Gardens and Hampton Court came to my mind as places to visit. I would have wanted to introduce her to my family over Christmas this year and have some short trips together so it is going to be a tough pill to swallow. Things haven’t worked out to what I have planned. I want to be glad that I am making a right decision but I feel like a dejected divorcee. This experience hasn’t put me off from visiting Dublin tho or meeting strangers or exploring places.

I’m glad this blog is coming to an end. I want to finish this blog by writing my farewell message that I sent to my loved one on Skype:

“Just wanted to let you know I have loved you ♥ and I was devastated to find out earlier that I’m not the person your looking for :(. I’m going to put this experience behind me and not look back. But I wish you all the best and hope we remain in touch. I hope that for us both, we can move forward onto better things. Stay safe x”


Why Europe?

Why Europe?

On one Sunday afternoon a few weeks ago, I was watching the UFC event on TV. I was so geared up for that because of the fight between Anderson Silva and Michael Lisping. It was a mind blowing experience watching the fight itself and the hype going towards the fight itself. I was watching this Saturday that gone by between Diaz and McGregor and that was off the charts. This is a great time to be a UFC fan just by how successful it has been getting lately. I would think about MMA at some point, practising my kicks and punches half naked some day, bearing in mind I probably get my face bruised after each fight I encounter.

Dear Everyone,


In today’s world, I wonder myself Why Europe?.

I mean everything these days that comes across is about Europe. It is a controversial topic I will be discussing in this blog. Let me know how you feel about Europe in the comments box below.

I showed my Mum a show called HardTalk on BBC iPlayer which was about the European Union.

Here are some facts that I have come across from personal experience:

  • The new FIFA President who is Gianni Infantino comes from Italy.
  • The person(s) that I brought a Mocha Latte from in Costa were Spanish and Italian.
  • I just read on WikiPedia that only Australia is smaller to Europe in surface area.

Right now, I’m listening to Loreen’s winning song at Eurovision called Euphoria. And when I think of Eurovision successes I think of Abba. I was watching a BBC Four documentary the other night about the success of ABBA and just reflecting on them as a group, they were something different and their music is appreciated by all kinds of different age groups, because they wrote GREAT music and will be the first group that comes to mind when I think of Sweden. I’m not a guy in my 50’s writing this, this is ME writing this at 25.

When I go round Europe this is what I associate countries and famous people:

  • Serbia – Novak Djokovic
  • Holland – Van Gogh
  • Switzerland – Roger Federer
  • France – Zidane
  • Portugal – Luis Figo
  • Croatia – Goran Ivanisevic
  • Austria – Mozart

And so on ………………………

So why am I mentioning Europe?

Well Europe is a popular topic politically with all these refugee camps that are taking place in central Europe. It is also a popular topic in the United Kingdom as there is going to be a referendum taking place later this year. I have mixed views about the idea of Britain leaving the EU. I haven’t looked into what it would mean if Britain did leave the EU but it would reduce the support we receive from Europe, but Boris Johnson said leaving the EU would be a prisoner escaping jail. To me Britain or the UK has been an island nation in Western Europe that has been influenced by Central Europe. Some of the historic houses and museums I have visited or derived or inspired from ancient worlds of Rome and Greece.

We have transport links by boat and rail going towards France and Belgium. What would it mean then if Britain decided to leave the EU? Would those links be used as frequently?

I don’t know any particular oversees companies founded in Europe that have their offices in London, but would that mean they still want to be located there? I’m assuming it still will be.

The UK has set upon being a entity away from Europe. Famously when Henry VIII separated himself from the Roman Catholic Church, he made himself as the Supreme Head of the Church of England. To me, that emphasises my point that they don’t want to be reliant or dependable of Europe.

On the other side, I do like the idea of being interested in what happens in Europe on an informal basis. I do LOVE Eurovision. I brought the Eurovision 2015 album and I still eager to listen to it and I think it is a great way to get countries in Europe united.  I said in one of my past blogs that I want to learn French, German and Italian. Those three just stand out for me because they are important languages to learn and it feels very cultural.

Bearing in mind. In Italy you have the Coliseum, Sistine Chapel  and in France you have the Palace of Versailles and the Louvre. In Germany, it is one of the biggest countries in Europe. It is about AMBITION and football lol.