Following on my previous post on my experience at the Hunterian Museum, I’m here to write about my recent dating experience which occurred on Saturday 28th January 2017.
Initially, I’ve only been on one informal date beforehand when I travelled to meet a girl in Dublin but I don’t look at these things a date because it feels pressurising.
On my initial second informal date (if you want to call it that), I met a girl on Match, got chatting and agreed to meet in person. We would first meet in the Fields Cafe in Holborn and go to a museum afterwards (turned out to be a bad idea in the end). Beforehand, I was quite excited to meet the person, had some shared interests. It didn’t bother me in the first place that the distance was longer than expected. After all, I wouldn’t turned down the invitation in the first place.
We sat down in the cafe it didn’t go down too badly, I just feel I was engaged in the conversations and I didn’t feel she was making too much of an effort, I found her to be quite shy and I didn’t feel I had learnt much from her in terms of personality. She does remind me of her in some ways, I can be quite quiet and unassuming in group conversations but I try to excel in individual conversations. We then went to the Museum together but we didn’t initially speak much once we were there, we went off in different parts of the museum. A museum to me is a school of learning so I wanted to be at ease and wander around independently and I hoped that by the end of it that we would then meet up and discuss what we liked about our visit or the day in general but that wasn’t what it turned out to be.
After an hour and half or so, I received a text from her saying she had to go to support her sister because her sister’s boyfriend was having a row. I had sympathy from reading the text but I felt it would be conducted more genuinely. I didn’t find her story of leaving me in the museum alone to be a good sign of acknowledgement. Perhaps if she had made an effort to find me in person then I would symphasise with her in that way but I felt she took the easy way out and didn’t acknowledge my presence on the day which I took it as a sign of disrespect and it hurt my feelings. Perhaps from an historian’s point of view, you could say she was being clever. She hadn’t mentioned to me about family relatives beforehand so it could only be made as an assumption.
When I meet with her in the cafe, I didn’t feel that we had much chemistry or I didn’t feel that I learnt anything greatly or dramatically despite sharing things in common before our visit. I’m looking beyond that, I’m not really looking for someone who comes from a history or art background or someone who is mainly interested in history and museums or solely into sports. What I am looking for is someone that shares interests in all or any of those but someone who is beautiful, enthusiastic, intelligently minded, adventurous, brave, ambitious, compassionate and doesn’t mind taking risks. I didn’t feel that I missed her at all or felt anything.
I left her texts wishing that her sister was ok and wished her a good weekend. By the time I got home on Saturday evening to Sunday afternoon, I didn’t receive any texts from her so I don’t feel she cared whether I got home ok and how the date went so it was a shame really.
The next day after meeting her, it was my decision to text her to say I wasn’t wanting to be in a relationship with her and wished her good luck. I was being brave and called her twice beforehand but went to answer phone.
I don’t have regrets about the actions or choices I took. I didn’t feel that the day was a mistake but a great shame that it wasn’t to be. I just believe the decision of going to a museum on an informal date wasn’t the best, more of a disaster really as it isn’t really that of an activity that you can engage very well.
I may have been convinced by her story that she needed to support her sister but truthfully, I just believed she only did just as an excuse of an easy way out. I just don’t like the thought of a date wanting to leave me be. What would happen if both me and her was on holiday to somewhere and she had to go off back to London without me and left me stranded without realising the risks and consequence of this? How would you feel if this happened to you?
Some of the days have passed now and I’m disappointed about giving the rejection, I’ll contact her in the near future and hope she is alright and ok. I just care about those I’ve hurt. It is not nice as it has happened to me once before and it took me a while to recover from it all. I’m not banking on a response but it’s worth a try I suppose. Never say Never.
What this experience has told me, I’m only 26 and going on dates has been hard to come by so I relish these opportunities to meet people on special occasions. I’m just waiting for the right girl or special person to come into my life at the right time and who knows, it may lead onto something serious or just a flash from the past. Who knows.
Thank you for reading my post and leave you comments below.